“Don’t fear, just live right.” - Elder Maxwell

Buenos días :)

I cannot believe we are here. Okay, I can believe it but I cannot comprehend it. Guess that's part of the blessing that comes with faith...the heart gets it but the head just cannot get a hold. As much as I LOVE my mission, with all the tears of this week and joyful days, it feels right. It feels like time. I have felt such a whirlwind of emotions every day this week and never knew what to reply when asked by every member, "well, how you feeling, Sister Gourley?" Aaaaahhhhh. That's how I'm feeling, haha. We had an amazing week that began with the temple.

I. LOVE. THE. TEMPLE. Goodness, the temple was amazing. I loved it. We all met up at Rego bright and early to head over for our session. Before we left President addressed us for a moment and told us usually when we go to the temple we go to get something (help, answers, etc) but that this time we were going only to give something. He said this temple trip was all about us, this day was all about us, and we were going to offer up unto the Lord our labors of 18-24 months. President also invited us to ponder our "highlight experience" from the mission so that we could lock it in our hearts and turn back to that experience in future times of need. (I chose my humility lesson while washing dishes :) that has already been over these last six months such an experience for me to reflect on.)

And so we departed (with quite the load on our minds). I made it a special focus the entire time I was in the temple to center my thoughts on reflection and gratitude. How much is the temple nourishing to the spirit when we go simply to worship and acknowledge the hand of God in our lives. I felt incredible peace the whole time. Nothing earthshattering, but quiet, still, comfortable peace. How I love my mission.

Along our way to the temple, we encountered a few bumps in the road with some train delays (normal) but made it on time (I could go off on with an anology with that one but I'll spare you ;) ). Now let me tell you, a session with President and Sister Reynolds is about as awesome as you can get. I love them so much. We had a good time together. I was companions with Hna Ashford so we got to talk the whole way! We also got to talk with President a bit on the train which was super fun :) did I mention I love them? I really love them.

After the session we got to have a little mini devotional with a member of the temple presidency where he and President and Sister Reynolds addressed us. That was an amazing experience. We returned to Rego and ate dinner. Next came the interviews and guess who was up first... Augh. It was really good though. I felt very good. So crazy this time has come so fast.

Throughout the rest of the week following I felt a shift in my daily prayers of offering my labors to my companion rather than to the Lord. I thought it was interesting how that change happened and feel it was another part of preparing me for my departure. Yesterday and this morning I also came to understand through an awesome experience and some study, complete with plenty of pondering of course, the answer to a question I've had for quite some time but this is a rather long story... 3 John 1:13-14 :)

We also had a funny moment. Last Wednesday I was trying to figure out what I could pack away (...I didn't pack anything until Sunday night but basically finished then so it's all good haha) and flipping through notes all the morning which meant I didn't really exercise at all. Hna Rosario then said, "todo el mundo esta como, 'six months to sexy, six days to sexy' and hermana Gourley is like, 'what day is it?'" It is true. I thought it was Wednesday every day up to Saturday, then I thought it was Friday :) well friends, now it's Monday and things are getting real!

We had another funny moment during our comp study when we opened with singing Loor al Profeta. Yours truly is still singing como una rana #sickforyears entonces, my voice copped out mid-song. Hna Rosario kept going while I cleared my throat and at the end of the chorus went to join her; however I did not because we both busted up laughing! So she was singing solo and where there's the 4 half-steps down, seeing as she too is enfermita, she didn't hit a single one of the notes as her voice cracked on each one. We stopped, looked at each other, then just busted up laughing. We ended up starting the song over.

We had a couple dinner appointments with some of our favorite members this week including the Beteta and Avila families. I love them so much. We had this awesome soup with the Betetas and some fancy Peruvian something with rice (always) at the Avilas. I love these people. I will miss them. Yesterday everyone at church kept hugging me and saying how I needed to come back. Everyone but Bryan Avila. He walks over, gives me a fistbump (that's my thing with the kids) and says, "we will miss you! See you in the spirit world!" Haha! Did I say I love these people?? Anis told me I had to come back and see them. I told her I'd be back in October. She expects a visit :) she left me a letter before I left.  I repeat, did I say I love these people?? Who knew your heart could be this big...

This Wednesday we had our last district meeting ever. Guess who got to give the workshop. My topic was "how to endure to the end of a mission". With my personal adaptation it was how to endure well, to the end. We all know how I am about semantics :) it was really cool. I think it helped me a lot along this journey of preparing to return. The workshop kind of served as my final testimony to my district. I was asked to bear my testimony yesterday in sacrament as well just before we sang Llamados a Servir (it's like they're trying to make me lose it!). It was a good week.

All in all, I'm feeling good :) I'm ready to get started on this next part of the journey, simply loving every step along the way. I have truly come to understand and gain a testimony through the gentle teaching of the Lord these last 18 months of the principle of being exactly where we are "supposed to be" in everything - the people we are with, the places we are, the things that we do and know. If we are truly seeking to follow the will of the Lord and His plan, I know of a surety we can walk confidently knowing everything is just as its "supposed to be". How grateful I am for that testimony. I know I am supposed to be here today with these people, I won't wish to be elsewhere. I know in a few short days I am supposed to be home with you beginning this next part. I think the greatest blessing of true missionary service is that confidence we as missionaries gain in the Lord. I feel that relationship with Him is the basis for a lifetime to come of devoted discipleship. Let us embark! And if we've already begun, keep on the path! Fight the good fight! "Press forward and live bravely" (Sister Staker)! Keep the faith! The reward is joy and peace and confidence and trust in this life, and eternal salvation, a "fullness of joy" in the kingdom of God yet to come. What a cause we are about!

I love you very much and will never be able to express in words the gratitude I feel for this 18 months; I hope I can express it through the life that follows. I am thankful for all of your many prayers and thoughts for me, my companions, and those we teach. They truly have made a difference.

I am excited to see you all but for now we head to the beach for one last hurrah as a zone #9baptizedthistransfer #workingforourblessings #afterallwecando #theLORDdoesHISwork I love you!! I will see you soon. Take care :) himno 89

Muchísimo amor,
Hermana Karra Gourley

Neither heart nor faith to fail

Buenos días :)

How is my fabulous family? This is quite a special day... We get to go to the temple! Rather strange feeling coming to the end like this. You know it's coming but you just can't quite put your finger on it til it's there.

This was a great week! We worked our butts off and were blessed with some new people to teach. We've got high hopes for this area. We are also 98% sure Hna Rosario is going to train this next one so we've been prepping a bit for that. She will be just awesome if that is in the Lord's plan.

We had a bit of a tender mercy this Sunday when we found someone named Ana. As background, the church across the street during this entire exchange was SCREAMING their sermon into a microphone... It was worse than a concert! (I'm sure mom could tell us just how much of my hearing I lost from that combined with the subways of Brooklyn haha.) We were on our way to see an old less active member of our branch after some rough finding.

We approached the building where I noticed a woman standing with a baby in the doorway to her own apartment two away from the less active we were to visit. I stopped and talked with her for a moment. The environment was not necessarily conducive to conversation and I almost left three different times. However, the conversation somehow kind of progressed where every time I'd go to leave something pulled me back. Hna Rosario had not even seen the woman but heard me talking to someone and caught back up with me where we then testified a little bit and gave her a card. We were planning to try and knock her house another time when we were back in the area, given the circumstances, but it was then that she began to cry! We waited in "silence" for a moment and just remained with her. I felt to testify about the plan of salvation and our purpose here, the peace Christ gives us, and the confidence we can have that God knows us and has not forsaken us. My goodness, the Spirit was so strong, it blew me away!! We stood there and taught and testified for a few more minutes before I introduced the Book of Mormon in my hand. The Spirit was undeniable, above the noise and distraction. We had our own little piece of heaven for a moment together. After extending her the invitation to read the introduction we asked when we could come back. She said Wednesday! Those who were nearby and witnessed the exchange (which were many) stood puzzled by what they had half-witnessed. As we left and proceeded to the home of the less active, our new friend sat down with some of our onlookers and began to talk with them and show the book we'd given her. It was an amazing experience.

We also met this super cool father-son duo last night! We were looking up a potential after prime time find and they were outside the home. We talked with them about what we do and why we do it. They were not interested in meeting with us as they attend elsewhere, but I felt impressed to share the Book of Mormon de todos modos. (I always share the Book of Mormon! It's my favorite! Seriously the most powerful tool in conversion I have ever seen... That book works miracles. It did so three times yesterday alone for us. I. Love. The. Book. Of. Mormon.) You would not believe how drawn to that book our friends became! They did not cease to flip through the pages nor did they cease to express their gratitude for the gift. We invited them to the branch activities we have this week and they said they'd love to go and meet more people like us. It was a really cool opportunity to plant in them a little seed. I love those moments :)

We had a funny moment when we met a woman Sunday who was outside on the busy street we were walking inviting people to their "outdoor service". She saw us coming up the street, Book of Mormon in hand, and said, "I see that you've got your swords! God bless you!" I like nice people :) we also knocked into two JWs this week, but, to our surprise, they were quite nice! I enjoyed speaking with them actually! It was a nice change from the usual Bible bash. If only we could all love and respect each other like that. One day...

We've learned together that if we put forth our part and truly give every effort we have that the Lord magnifies our efforts and truly qualifies us for His work. We had exchanges this last week and when we did our follow up the sisters asked me to share something I'd learned that helped me the most with whatever we were taking about at the time (to be honest I don't remember what it was haha) and I shared with them that learning "man is nothing" and trusting in the Lord, having confidence He will do His work through our meager efforts, was something I felt shaped my whole mission. Being willing to say, "nevertheless, not my will but Thine be done," just as the Savior did, and truly with our whole souls mean it. That has been what has helped me the most, I feel, to find success in missionary work because when we live that way we know all things are according to His plan and can walk confidently with Him. That has been a blessing for me.

The subject line comes from one of my most earnest searches that I have ever undertaken for peace. The days are flying by and I realized last week I had allowed some fear to creep into my heart. I was lacking faith and needed a boost fast. It is not easy to go from on-call 24/7 disciple of Jesus Christ to returned missionary looking for purpose. I tried to find my purpose this week. Completing the final part of My Plan aided in that, but I could not shake the fear from my soul that the possibility exists of faltering and not remaining true to my testimony. "The crowning characteristic of love is always loyalty," says Elder Holland. I believe that. And I could not shake the fear that I could betray my loyalty to the Savior and His gospel after all I have seen and become with Him. This troubled me greatly.

I expressed this fear to President in my interview. I told him I knew I was lacking faith but that I was afraid of failing. I didn't know what to do. I expressed to him ideas similar to that found in President Uchtdorf's talk about Peter given at the new mission presidents seminar (thanks mom!). I expressed how I felt I shared many traits with Peter and that he fell, a lot. And hard. But he was so much greater than I! If he fell, how far am I going to fall?? This was my fear I expressed and I didn't know how to take courage in facing it with faith.

President told me all of those falls were on the way to Peter's conversion, that after his experience with the Savior on the shore he was changed. He didn't fall like that after his conversion, after he truly became a disciple of Jesus Christ. Then he told me my mission has been that time for me. He assured me this has been my time of falling and falling hard at times (boy, have I eaten it more than a few times... sometimes we don't quite hit the ground running, haha) but that I am leaving my mission changed. I am leaving converted. He assured me that I don't need to fall hard again. There will be hard times - of course - but nothing I cannot handle with the Lord on my side. He instructed me to never lose the Book of Mormon and to always stay close to the Savior.

Taking courage from that counsel, I began my search once again. I have found there truly is "safety for the soul" in the Book of Mormon, and that we need not be afraid. This doesn't mean since receiving this counsel I have been tearless, nor do I expect so to be in the future (mission has made me soft, gosh dang it), but it does mean I've been at peace. I don't think I will ever truly be able to grasp it all until the process of transition has already begun, but I know the temple and interviews tonight will aid in that process. I feel the Lord's acceptance and there is nothing greater in life than that.

My invitation for each of us is to come to and then never leave the side of the Lord. That may sound like a big task but maybe this excerpt from a talk I read this week can help in breaking down such a lifelong commitment:

"Shortly before President Heber J. Grant passed away, one of the Brethren visited his home. Before he left, President Grant prayed, 'O God, bless me that I shall not lose my testimony and keep faithful to the end!' After nearly 27 years as President of the Church, this was his fervent prayer. His example is a striking reminder that no one, at any age, is immune from Satan’s influence."

I think this quote exhibits one of the simplest keys to remaining with the Lord: remembering that we are not invincible! Therefore, always having the humility to ask for His help in remaining true, just as this prophet of the church. Personally I have taken this to be my firm mindset. I feel it goes rather well with the commandment to watch and pray often, lest we enter into temptation. And this is what brought me peace. I no longer fear but rather walk with faith and trust in the Lord, ever watchful.

The Savior's peace is real and it is available to all of us. I feel it and know He is with me. I hope this next week is just fabulous for you! I love you and I love my mission.
Muchísimo amor,
Hermana Karra Gourley

Walk With Me

Hello, fabulous family of mine!

How are we? Hope all is well. To be totally honest, 18 months later I feel I am lacking things to say in emails. I feel like I don't want to write any more of my thoughts; I want to just tell them. I will be able to do that for you soon enough. Until then, here we are.

This week was another good one. I feel the days go by only because my focus is to, rather than count the days, make the days count. I've felt an increased peace as I've worked thinking this way. I feel every day as we move to the next the acceptance of the Lord more and more and that comes with more and more peace. It is beginning to really "feel right".

We had the awesome opportunity of preparing and witnessing the baptism of Anis this weekend. That was an adventure! She and her family --especially her mom-- were so happy... It made us happy to see that. We have high hopes for them! What was interesting to me is what I felt during the service as well as after. This was the fourth person I have actively been involved in baptism preparation for who has then entered the waters of baptism, and the only one of those four to witness. I learned sitting in that service that for me the real joy I have felt in my mission has been working. Finding people, teaching, planning, not sleeping cause you're role playing the next lesson in your head all night, talking every minute about the needs of those we teach and how we can help them... The work. That is what gives me joy! I remember a line from the district where the elder says, "We've been working really hard... Why couldn't we, just have a baptism...?" and the way he talks about it is almost as though that is the only source of their joy: witnessing someone they've taught be baptized. So that is the interesting thing - to realize that is not the case for me. I rejoice just as much being there or not. I am very very thankful to my Heavenly Father for blessing me my whole mission with opportunities to experience true joy, and I'm thankful He allowed me this transfer to see that.

We also had the coolest little miracle this week. We are doing some hard core finding and decided to look up these 5 people in our area book for the last time. We passed by the first; nothing. We get to the second and it's my turn to offer the prayer. I pray in the car explaining we had too many people in our area book, that we needed new people to teach, and we needed to know if she was ready. I expressed that if it was His will we teach her that we find her now. Then He added something at the very end, "...and if she is ready now, if it be Thy will that she learn at this time, may she let us in where we can teach her now." We both were silent as we walked up to the house. We knock and this 12 year old boy answers. He asks his mom who is on the phone up the stairs if he can let us in. She gestures no. He doesn't close the door. We talk with him for a brief second then she comes and joins us. We explain who we are and why we're there and she says, "oh, yes, well let's hear what you have to say. Come in." We ran inside that house so fast! Haha.

What proceeded was one of the best restoration lessons I have had in my entire mission. It was literally perfect. The Lord taught them. It was amazing. Usually when we walk up to find someone we have a plan for what we'll teach if they let us in. We didn't this time. I remember offering a little prayer of gratitude as we took our seats and asking that He teach her through us at this time. He made us work! I knew the moment we sat down we were teaching the restoration but I didn't know how to connect it to her personal situation best. We began and then suddenly He showed how He had set it up perfectly. The conversation was perfect, the spirit was strong, and their hearts were prepared. It was amazing. We will be seeing them tomorrow!

So this week was just pretty great :) We did a lot a lot a lot of finding and have been blessed by the Lord a lot for our efforts. Even though we don't always find new people to teach, He blesses us to know we've done our part. It's been good. This next week will be crazy with interviews, exchanges, apartment checks, last section of My Plan, nights full of lessons, and then the other reulars of la obra misional :) I love it.

We also got a new referral this week and the case is super weird. We have no idea what actually is going to end up happening with her but she is super cool, has a lot of potential. The stickiness of the situation comes from her having been a member previously. Apparently that usually goes through the stake. Hopefully we get to work with her a bit and help her come around. Learning a few of the details of the situation led me to exclaim, "People! Just keep the commandments!" Hna Rosario followed up with her own, "que pasa con la gente..." I have felt such an increased urgency since serving as I have truly become converted and begun this path of discipleship to just do what we're supposed to do. I read a lot of the BOM this week. (DID I SAY I LOVE THAT BOOK??? I don't think anyone knows how much I love that book.) I studied in Mosiah 26 and Alma 9 at different times but found this common theme once again present: (This is the preachy moment of the email haha)

Mosiah 26 says concerning the people that "they did not believe...because of their unbelief they could not understand...they would not be baptized; neither would they join the church...they would not call upon God...and they did not repent." Look how much agency is involved here! These verses are followed by the Lord's comfort to Alma as He says, "blessed is this people who are willing to bear my name; for in my name shall they be called; and they are...my sheep...and they know me." But then comes verse 26 regarding the first group of those we have mentioned: "And then shall they [that never knew me] know that I am the Lord their God, that I am their Redeemer; but they would not be redeemed." THIS KILLS ME. The idea that we have so much opportunity, that the Lord is just WAITING to bless us, but sometimes, we too, "would not".  Alma 9 talks about the consequences for such choices.

As I've continued studying the Book of Mormon and Jesus the Christ every day I have come to understand a little bit better the character of the Savior. He wants to forgive, He wants to help us, He wants to bless us, but we need to do our part to receive those blessings. I hope we can renew our commitment to Christ if we've made it in the past, and if we haven't that we begin to. If we are willing to try the Lord is willing to help us in anything, no matter where we are. Repentance is real, change is real and that is the hope Jesus Christ gives to us. I love my mission and I love the opportunity I have to share these truths with people every day. To quote one of my favorite elders, "the church is true, the book is blue, Jesus is a Mormon." :)

Love you! Hope it is another great week!
Muchísimo amor,
Hermana Karra Gourley

P. S.  Subject line :)
This is the emphasis we have made to many people recently: to find this path and walk it with us. We truly do not walk it alone.
Moses 6:31-34

PICTURES (sorry but not in order):
- We have the baptism pictures
- Crossing the train tracks while doing some street contacting
- car selfie
- street selfies as the clouds roll in to let down the rain right as you're beginning to track (funny story there: we were walking and this little old lady was taking out her garbage. I asked if I could help, the conversation proceeded as follows... "nah, honey I just droppin it here at da curb." "okay have a good day!" "hold on, you got a'umbrella??" "no, but it's okay it isn't really raining--" "get ova'ere..." "no, it's really okay--" "wha'd I say? Get ova'ere, don't you make grandma give you a two four (no idea what that means...) I do it to ma grankids..." she grabs her umbrella from the car and hands it to me. "you live here? I can come back here to drop it off?" "guuurl, I ain't gonna die if I don't get a'umbrella back!! Nah get'long!" and so we got along... Haha! And now we have three umbrellas haha)
- a cool truck we passed #elderbrown
- filling the font :)
- Oh and the scary porch we had to cross to knock this door. Every single step the boards were moving and dropping under us, haha!
- And this nice little stop sign where we were knocking. #stopmeansgoactually

Follow the Prophet

Hello hello!

We are at the bowling alley right now so if my thoughts are a little scattered, I am sorry. I have some notes from throughout the week I will mention as well :)

This was a really awesome week. I was quite fond of it. I spent a lot of time pondering my mission and have felt the beginning of peace...the timing of the Lord is beginning to feel right. I am ecstatic about the upcoming weeks and all we can do with the Lord this last little bit. I love this work. I dunno how to accurately describe the joy and gratitude I have felt the last little bit and I am starting to feel peace with my work. I'm beginning to feel the Lord has accepted all I've tried to give Him and am excited to see how we will finish this together.

I have one insight to how the last little bit will end. This Friday we have the baptismal service for Anis! We are pumped. She is so excited... I just love her. The branch is excited and another of our investigators will be coming to the baptism. She has really really been thinking hard about it. We are hopeful to get her on a date this week. She could literally be baptized tomorrow if she stops with the one cup of coffee. She's just stuck there haha. She is amazing. I love the people so much.

We were walking back to the car after knocking last week and this Hispanic man was walking towards us. I said, "Hola, como esta?" and he literally jumped ten feet. Haha. We also ate at this little diner and the waiter was Hispanic as well. He asked us about what our tags were for and we got to plant a pretty solid seed haha. So many people are telling me my Spanish is actually good but now I'm finished 😂  It's been a blessing serving this people and adopting their culture a little bit. I love them.

AAAAHHH a funny moment. This was hilarious. Especially in the moment. Here it is: When your role plays are so real you are convinced you extended a commitment to read the BOM to one of your investigators and that they asked you to send them reminder texts at night so then you get to the evening and spend 15 minutes trying to remember who the investigator was you needed to send a text to until you realize it wasn't real cause it was a role play #whenyouhavenogatorssoyoumakethemupsoyouhavepeopletohelp #laughedfordays #absofsteel

We felt really good about this week even though our pool has gone a little crazy haha. We've been doing our best to try and find; the Lord has blessed us. We had a really intense lesson with one of our investigators this week. Wow. We followed the Spirit though and it ended well. She came to church on Sunday. We are happy for the progress the Lord has blessed us to see with those we are teaching. I think that is the biggest blessing of working so closely with the people is that we get to see them change; we get to see the Atonement in action. It is awesome.

One of the coolest things I have seen from my mission, or one of the biggest blessings I should say, is learning how the Spirit speaks to me. I have learned all these different patterns He has with me and I get excited every time we come to studies because I know the promises of the Lord to be true that if we seek Him, He will reveal Himself to us. If we seek knowledge and understanding of Him, He will open our eyes. I've had a few of those moments this week and have loved being able to express that gratitude to Him and record those moments of inspiration and revelation.

My subject line is inspired by the common theme of this week. I dunno why, or why this week specifically, but it seemed literally everyone was attacking the prophets: Investigators telling us Nephi wasn't a prophet but the BOM was true; Adam wasn't a prophet; Joseph Smith wasn't a prophet; President Monson... Everyone we were talking to was so convinced the Bible says there will never be any more prophets. We thought, "What is up with this?? Have these people read the Bible??" We took it upon ourselves to investigate. One door knock gave us a bit more of a clue as to what scripture they were so poorly interpreting when he said John was the last prophet. Come to find the whole world takes Luke 16:16 completely out of context (because with or without the Joseph Smith translation you still come to the same conclusion if you know the scriptures) and uses that as their only basis for God ceasing to reveal His will through His prophets. We were more than a little miffed.

There will never be a time when logic will give someone a testimony. You cannot reason into faith and you cannot reason the teachings of Christ. Every person must decide for themselves. The invitation is always the same... Experiment on the word and see for yourself. I know President Monson is a prophet and that the true church of Christ is restored. What a blessing that testimony has been to me. I love my mission and am thankful for the hope of change and improvement that is possible through Jesus Christ. I love you and hope it has been a great week!! Take care, I'll see you soon :)

Muchísimo amor,
Hermana Karra Gourley