Let it burn

"I promise I'm happy"

Mom note (again): On Thursday night, Hna Gourley was emergency transferred to Rego Park for the final week of this transfer. She loved Far Rockaway and the people she served there. I know I said this last week, but I want to grow up to be just like her. :) Love her example of faith and optimism. ♥

Hey, fam.

Interesting week. It isn't until your faith and strength is tested and the Lord is all you have that you truly realize your faith is enough, in His strength you can do all things, and He is all you need. Not gonna lie, the refiner's fire got pretty intense. I honestly did not know so much could happen in six days. I haven't had this hard of a week in a long time but I feel at peace. I know this is all part of His plan. We will see what the Lord has in store. Good thing I have the fire I have because when the refiner's fire comes, I've got my fire to match it. I know that the Lord has prepared me for these things and is ever with me in these moments.

I was reading though chapter six of PMG to get some extra strength and guidance and hope, cause I was really lacking this morning. Well, I was reading just through what is said, not the scriptures or anything, and I came to Patience.

- "Patience is the capacity to endure delay, trouble, opposition, or suffering without becoming angry, frustrated, or anxious. It is the ability to do God’s will and accept His timing. When you are patient, you hold up under pressure and are able to face adversity calmly and hopefully. Patience is related to hope and faith--you must wait for the Lord’s promised blessings to be fulfilled."

I had to look up and say "thank you". Because I am getting it. I never thought in my life that I would say I am starting to get patience, but the Lord works wonders when we come unto Him. It is amazing. It says patience is related to hope and faith. All the lessons He has taught me on these two attributes over the last year --specifically these last few months-- have really paid off as now I stand amazed at the goodness that are His blessings. I am getting it. I know I still have a long way to go, but I cannot deny the blessings that the Lord has given me in bringing me to this point.

I feel the urgency of being optimistic. I feel the urgency of being happy and feeling joy in the future. I know how it all turns out. I don't know the means by which the end will come about, but I know what will be the end. I have faith and hope in Him and His plan. I can do all things. I can press forward and be an instrument in His hands that whatever His will might be may be done. Joy is a choice. I will choose to feel joy at this time. He is there.

Really and truly, all is well. I feel peace and comfort knowing the Lord is by my side. I have received an incredible amount of love and support and know He hasn't left me alone. Seek to find Him. Look for Him in your life. I know He is there. He's always there. I love you! Hope this is a better, more joyous week! I will be doing everything on my part to make it such. :) love you!

Muchísimo amor,
Hermana Karra Gourley

Little gems:

"You don't know how strong you are until being strong is all you have."

"I am being refined so hard!!" --Elder Asplund

Funny moments:

Elder Asplund carrying Elder Imlay down the street on our way to teach and give a blessing Sunday. #throwbacktoElderMcConkieandElderHarris

Fun times:

Sunday dinner with everyone in Rego! #williams #fourelders #foursisters #andofcourse #thefabuloussisterpetersen

Saturday knocking + a rain storm = cool lightning and nicer people #nonewgatorsthough #theyhavepitywhenyoustandintherain

...
For future reference:

My district now includes me, my companion (Sister Panoussi); Elder Asplund (district leader) and his trainee Elder Imlay; and the office elders: Elder Walker and Elder Cahan (from Patchogue)

Yes, I am in the same ward as the Beus' but no, I did not see them yesterday #rememberthatonetimeithoughtiwouldneverserveherecauseiamspanish? #thinkagain

PICTURES:
* Elder Asplund, Elder Imlay, Sister Panoussi
* Found herself sleeping on a bunkbed the night of her one-year mark - "same way I began"
* Exchanges
* Rego sister missionary tradition of buying a Lego keychain when they serve in that area. She couldn't resist the ballerina. Seems fitting.
* The "I promise I'm happy" selfie (top)

Bunkbed...just as I began one year ago

"If you gonna bring it on you better bring it strong"

Mom note:  I am so grateful for this missionary's example as she continues to teach us every week, staying true to herself no matter the circumstances.  The past few days she has faced challenges with strength and integrity through complete trust & faith in the one who knows her perfectly.  I hope I grow up to be just like her.  ;)  "Be still & know that I am God."

Buenos dias, mi familia :)

This has been quite the odd day, but it has been good! We had a district activity this morning where we all went to the very edge of our area at a place called Breezy Point. It was beautiful! We went at about 8:30 and it wasn't even that bad as far as coldness goes. We walked/hiked about a mile and a half in total to get to and from the beach (you have to walk in from where you park). It was so nice to get outside and feel the sun! We have had some really nice days here this week.

The week as a whole was really, really good. We honest to goodness do not even know where the week went because we feel last Tuesday was forever ago! We did really well on pictures this week. :) We visited Sister Walters Tuesday and got Subway together. The two ladies working were hilarious. One was from Pakistan and the other India, and they spoke basically no English but were very insistent on having a conversation with us about why two white(-ish) girls were with our "black mammy". It was fun.

We also had the coolest experience that same night as we took two of our young women out with us. We were doing lookups in Inwood which is the upper end of our area. There was a list of names and addresses we had made to find that night and at the top of the list was a "Stephanie". We got to the house and I recognized it. We had tried this lookup almost four times before. I had actually dropped this person in our area book even, so the fact that we were there because she somehow was still on our list was not a coincidence. I offered the prayer and asked that if she really was ready --or if there was someone else ready-- that we would find them tonight. Well, we find her.  She was in a moment where I believe the Lord had prepared that situation perfectly. We were able to give her a little bit of comfort and will hopefully be able to meet with her this week and teach her about the Plan of Salvation. That will be big for her. :)

This Thursday we also had our lesson with Elders Grande and Cisneros for their investigators. That was an awesome lesson. The Spirit was really strong as we were all testifying and talking about their reasons for investigating the church. We taught about the importance of the Book of Mormon and after committed them to read it --and actually do it this time. Well, they did! They even came to church Sunday and are really progressing. That was an awesome moment.

Last night we finally got to see our investigator! He is still crazy excited about his baptism and looking forward to it every day. We didn't get to have the lesson because he was working on the brakes for his work car, but we will see him tonight. Week and a half left. He is so ready. That is one thing I love so much about this work - you get to see people change. You get to see first hand what the Lord does when we come unto Him in those we teach, those we serve with, and even ourselves. What a blessing.

Zone Training Meeting was on Friday as well. That was amazing. The Sister Training Leaders gave a workshop on testifying of Christ. I felt for myself the gravity of being a disciple of Him, of Jesus Christ. I thought to myself, "am I representing Him as I should?" They asked us if the people of New York knew of our commitment to the Savior. I hope that in all we do - in the way we live our lives day by day - that the love we have for Him, the desire we have to be like Him, and the commitment to following Him is manifest. This is something I have taken personally to reflect on since my first Zone Training Meeting in Patchogue. I remember an elder making a comment about our commitment to be disciples of Christ and since then the thought has not left my mind or my heart. I have seen through the experiences of the last year how the Lord has been teaching me, guiding me, and showing me the way to being His disciple in all things, all times, and all places.

My goodness, awesome moments I just remembered of some personal revelation I received this week. I had some questions about the Holy Ghost, about the Spirit, just about missionary work. In my studies, I was blessed with the opportunity to find some answers and come to better understand the nature of God.  I am doing everything I can to be one who He can trust, who He can rely on. Studies...they are amazing. I also have been studying more about faith - about perfect faith and perfect knowledge. This has been a really good study for me the last few weeks and I found a lot out of the scriptures. I love the scriptures so much! I just feel the power of them only holding them in my hands. The Lord has been good enough to help me better understand Him and His ways as I have learned more of the significance of faith being the first principle of the gospel, as it truly is our foundation. He has taught me so much. God is so cool.

Our week went quickly but of course as always was filled with opportunities for growth. I have found great comfort in knowing that I know my Savior knows me and knowing that my Father has a perfect plan for me. The simple truth that They love us has rung true in my ears and filled my soul with peace as I have found many a "what lack I yet?". I think that is the coolest thing, for me, that I realized this week: He loves me and His grace is sufficient.  I am truly thankful for the trials of this week and this time here, for how they have helped me to grow and truly find my real self. I have said it a million times and I will say it again: I've gone soft. But I have never felt so much that I am on the track my Father in Heaven desires of me. I know that we can all embark on the journey of becoming...and, if we have already begun, I know we can feel the confirmation of His Spirit that we are becoming who He would have us be. We only need come to Him.

I have loved this week; we will see what the next brings. Week 5 here we are. It is going to go so fast. Hope it is great for all of you! I love you :)

Mucho amor,
Hermana Karra Gourley

Funniness of the week:

"The night pass so fast. Everything pass so fast." --us during morning workouts (oh! also, we went running this week because it was so warm, it was awesome)

*giggles* "I miss seeing trees without trash in them!" --Elder Harris

Oh, our water got shut off.  That was fun. Ha. My compagne was in the shower Friday night and the landlord starts pounding the door and ringing the bell. Apparently the water was just raining down. The plumber came and fixed everything, but that was a fun time. Not funny, but there. ha :)

Receiving revelation that we really should be doing xyz that we are not and the Lord just being hilariously patient with us as we tried to figure it all out. haha. He is funny sometimes. I love when He just lets us go for a bit then says, "Yeah, this thing. The one I told you about? That. That is the answer." :)

Giving the elders money to buy donuts and committing them to do it. "What might keep you from keeping this commitment? What might get in the way? How can we help you keep this commitment?"  Well, they brought the donuts. ;)

Other than that, not remembering much else!  We have exchanges tomorrow.  That should be good. :)

Just waiting for our appt

 

Still minds, soft hearts, ready spirits, converted souls

Buenas :)

I did not anticipate liking this format very much when it came to writing my thoughts of the week, but I feel I quite enjoy it. It may be making an appearance a little more frequently than originally intended. Sorry :)

(awesome moment to kick it all off: right now as I write this and feel maybe the reason for this being how my thoughts are coming rather than in a day by day history type of format --like how I began my mission-- is because now I am not as focused on what we do, but rather how what we do changes me. Kinda cool.)

Clean up time:
cleaned the apartment a little extra
got sick #lotsofwater #cleanourinsides #thankscoldweather #...probablyourfault #notthebestideatowalktwomilesinablizzard #thoughtwewouldgetawaywithoutgettingsick #thinkagain
cleaned our desks! 'bout time we did that
washed the car for the first time in almost three months #oops #disobedient #sorryelderwilliams

Awesome spiritual moment/Tender mercy: teaching Monday night. The Lord blessed us so much, it is crazy. That lesson was amazing. We were teaching in French and English as usual, but we felt incredibly unified the whole lesson. I understand parts of what is said and can usually follow pretty well in French (thank you Spanish and knowing the topic of conversation) but of course I don't understand to the extent at which I probably should. Last Monday the Spirit was so strong. We were able to teach effectively where we now know how we can better prepare him for his baptism, even with a language barrier. Such a blessing.

Fun (but probably crazy) moment: the big snow storm? Yeah, that was fun! We weren't allowed to drive and didn't know how long it would last so we decided to walk to the closest less active family: one mile away! It was so fun! We were trekking through a foot of snow in most places, but the wind had blown some huge piles up in some areas where it was all of a sudden three feet deep! Haha. We had fun to say the least. We got to the door and looked at each other, just busted up laughing! Our mascara was everywhere but on our eyes. It was hilarious. We just wiped it all off with our scarves and carried on without for the rest of the day. It was quite the adventure. Also took us 40 minutes with a broken borrowed shovel to get our car out once we got permission to drive again. It was a great time.

(And no. No pictures, sorry. We felt like it was more enjoyable to just experience it! Haha! We concluded the day with my compagne declaring "that was...an original day." Sums it up well!)

Funny moment: taking some extra food over to the elders' apartment on Wednesday night. Their landlady is a cop and was at the door talking with them when we pulled up to drop off the food. She saw us walking up as they came out to grab the food and she went into her side of the building and just watched through the window the whole time we were talking with them! She was still watching even when we drove away.

Fun service moment: translating at the doctor for one of our most favorite Spanish women in the ward. Technically that was just me I guess. I was so stressed about it! Haha. But I was praying the whole time that I would understand everything okay and it went well. Point to el Don de Lenguas.

Awesome spiritual moment: planning for a favorite less active in front of said favorite less active. We have felt for a while now that we needed to plan in front of him; that we needed him to see us doing this for him to try and understand what we do and what every sister before us has done for him. Well, Wednesday after almost hitting rock bottom - having tried our second-to-last idea for helping him progress and seeing it fail - we decided it was time.

It began very awkwardly cause we didn't really know how to get into it. We were anxious, but after praying and a few minutes of awkward at the beginning, we finally got into it. That was the best thing that could have ever happened for him. Something different clicked in him then. He came to himself in a new way. We pray he will choose to allow the Savior to carry him. He needs it. The Spirit was really strong and I really think he is going to change. We hope so. #noloweredexpectations #letitgo #prayersprayersprayers #darnthatagencything ;)

Awesome spiritual moment: district meeting paired with Wednesday morning. The talk within companionships that we had at district meeting thanks to the revelation of Elder McConkie, and then the continuation (sort of) of it the next morning together. We just had a really good talk about some things relating to the work and revelation, a few things that helped us build our unity and testimonies a bit.

Awesome spiritual moment: mega zone conference!! Goodness gracious just the whole thing! Seriously. #somanythingstochange #imeanimprove #aaaahhh #soexcited
We had workshops on commitments (extending/following up), the new standards, conversion, and using the Book of Mormon. We also got a new mission challenge to do this study of the BoM by the end of the May transfer and I am very excited about it. :)

Not-so-awesome moment: Included in the awesomeness that was Mega Zone, I also ended up giving a talk on obedience and singing a musical number with Elder Thomas. That was stressful! Haha. (The way it works is Sister Reynolds asks everyone to send in a 3-5 minute talk on obedience then she picks three people or so to give theirs at the meeting. Well, I got chosen to give mine. Ha. Also the singing thing was fun...ha...we sang a song called "Oceans". It was pretty but didn't help that I am sick.)

Fun moment: finding some gems in the billions of CDs that occupy the deepest recesses of our car #jennyphilips #mercyme #"...Mulan? No waaaay!"

Song I now love: Says something about how we have the prophets to guide us, the Spirit inside us, and angels walking beside us; therefore, we will take up the shield of faith and be who we are, defend the truth we hold, and witness of Him at all times, in all things, and in all places. I just like that.  :)

Song I now love: The one I was asked to sing with Elder Thomas for Mega Zone. It talks about Peter - and really all of us - walking out on the water to Christ. It went beautifully for me with the workshop Sister Reynolds gave about conversion. She used Luke 22:32 and the song came to mind, how He knew Peter had the faith necessary to make it; he walked on water! But He would pray for him that his faith would not fail, that he would be able to keep his eyes on Christ and make it. This promise is true for me, you, all. He is praying for us. How does that make you feel to know that the Savior of the world is praying for you, for your faith in Him to remain strong enough to endure tests and trials and afflictions because He knows you can and He knows you will call upon Him and He will be able to help you? How would you live if you knew this? Anyway, so there was that. Haha.

Awesome moment: Realizing I am not really stressed about anything anymore. Now, don't even dare think that my missionary work just got so easy all of a sudden that I don't have anything to stress about, because doing so would take God out of this experience. The things that could cause me stress have increased in the last week if anything, but the cool part has been seeing as I have sought to be more still and as I have asked for Him to help me in this, He has. The moment I start to think about all the stress of something or get worried and anxious about things (because for me those worry and anxiety go with stress), I stop myself. I remember who is in charge, and I carry on in peace. It is amazing.

The uncertainty is still there when it comes to the things that worry or stress (for example, transfers. I still don't know what is going to happen there) but choosing to turn it over to God, to trust in Him and know it will all work according to His will means peace, and that is amazing!! (So, no...I am not stressed for transfers, I know His will is to be done and it is best; bring it on!) His peace does not mean everything is just peachy keen and perfect with no problems and hardships; it just means that you endure such times differently - with Him and with His hope. So cool.

Awkward moment: Realizing I really am becoming mom. Like, seriously. It is terrifying. Haha. We were at Sister Charite's and she had fed us. I took the plates and silverware back to wash them. She told me not to/to stop and I dunno, just the way the conversation went, what I said, how I said it, I felt like I was watching mom! It was the weirdest thing. I remember thinking right as it was happening, "mom??" It was scary. Haha. But hey, I always said I wanted to be like grandma. Well, I see more and more now how much mom is just like grandma. If that means this is where I'm going, then bring it on, haha! I just thought it was funny. :)

Fun moment: visiting some of the older sisters in our branch this week (along with one of our new investigators who is a little older) and getting marriage advice. 😂  Every. Single. One of them asked us if we each had a boy and what the "love story" was and then they proceeded to give us really bad marriage advice.  Haha.

And here we are. It is ridiculously windy outside and we thought we were going to get blown away getting from the car to the door. We can still hear it outside. I am rather impressed by the power of the wind actually. Kind of reminds me of that one time in Hawaii (and dad's hair of course!) :) I love you lots, and hope this is a great week.

Muchísimo amor,
Hermana Karra Gourley

PICTURES:  We did really bad with the picture thing this week. I would say I will repent but we all know that just...ya know...it is a struggle. Sorry.  Haha.

Love you!! :)

We have...

all the sisters of our two zones (at mega zone...there are nine zones by the way, this is zone four and zone five) squished at one table cause we wanted to and cause we could
#whatdoyoumeanitisonlyfor8people?  #butwecanfitfourmore  #partyattableseven

I had to take a picture of this pasta we found in our cabinet because #loveyoutoTexasandback I thought of my hermanita of the CCM! :)

#weeklyplanning

the frantic it-is-Sunday-and-we-have-no-pictures-to-send-so-we-will-take-pictures-with-whoMever-we-see pictures :)

Peace, peace, be still

Buenos dias, familia.

This has been quite the weird day but it was a rather good week! We had the opportunity to visit with a few of our favorites and some new favorites as well. I love the opportunity we have to meet so many new people here. There are always new people to see and serve, even if it is simply serving through examples or a small conversation. It is awesome.

Not gonna lie, this week was rough in the personal realm a little bit. Haha. When the Lord tells you He will show you your weaknesses if you come unto Him, He is not kidding. Haha. I have found that being shown one's weaknesses and inadequacies is never easy, but it is certainly a blessing. (Mom note:  This really shouldn't surprise her.  It is, after all, the scripture she chose for her missionary plaque. :) )This week I was struggling a little bit with feeling a little overwhelmed with all of my thoughts (for we know they are many) and trying to wrap my brain around everything. I felt a little overwhelmed with how inadequate I have felt the last little bit, but what came to mind was something mom sent me a while back about His peace. Where my mind went was that He offers us His peace, that He gives us peace differently than the world does. If you look at His life, it does not define peace as the world would have it. But that is the difference, I think. He shows us our weaknesses and our inadequacies and then gives us peace - if we accept it - that yes, we lack a lot but we can improve and He can still do His work through us. It is a blessing I feel I have gained to have a better understanding of how it really doesn't matter what we lack. It goes with the "be still" thoughts I have been having as well. Be still, know He is God, know He is in charge, and go to work.

Reading this morning in the Book of Mormon it says the people would fall because they were blind from "looking beyond the mark". It is really easy to look past the mark, or make the mark out to be something it is not. Reflecting today, in a world where left is right and right is wrong, it is really easy to get confused and frustrated if we do not have our eye focused on the mark, which is the Savior, Jesus Christ. Our relationship with the Savior is the most important thing we can have in this world, and I know that we can find peace and stillness in a world that never rests if we focus on Him and remember what He has taught us.

This whole "be still" thing is new for me. Anyone who has served with me knows that I am used to knowing the plan and going going going at a hundred miles an hour all the time. But the thing is, sometimes He wants us to be still. I think it is a real blessing that He has given me to be able to go and continue with the motivation to keep moving forward with fire, but it is also a blessing and a balance to be able to stop and recognize His voice and refocus - especially when at times the loss of focus comes from the very thing that is supposed to bring us closer to Him: being shown weakness. :)

I am so blessed to be serving in New York. The work I am seeing and doing now is different than the work I have done in every other area until this point. I have gained such a testimony of the importance of this time here and the impact of how our time is spent on all that will come in the eternities. I guess to try and sum up all of these random thoughts that define this week:  I have seen by looking for the blessings, the tender mercies, the teaching moments, and the goodness of God as His hand guides my life that He is there. And He is really guiding everything if I have the humility to let Him and follow Him.

That is my crazy round-about invitation for you, my family! One of the quotes I found reading says, “That which we persist in doing becomes easier for us to do; not that the nature of the thing itself is changed, but that our power to do is increased” (Ralph Waldo Emerson). It is not easy to do the will of the Lord, but I know if we set out to do it and work every day to keep our eye centered on the mark and nourish our relationship with the Savior that we will find more power in doing so. We know He will show us our weaknesses if we come to Him, but we cannot forget that He has also promised He will bless us with more of His strength. How cool is that? :)

So, I love you a lot! I hope you have a great week and know how much I love you and am thankful for all of your support. This really was a great week, and I am very thankful for the growth I have had while serving here. (*cue Elder McConkie* #"thisareagrowsyouthemost" #alsokillsyouthemost  #justkidding #butreallythough) Have a great week!! :)

Mucho amor,
Hermana Karra Gourley